I turned 21 four days ago.
It hurt less than 20, which is basically good.
I've been thinking of jump starting the whole 'writing down my thoughts' thing again, if only because it's good for getting stuff out and working on not avoiding things. Cuz I'm good at that.
Five months away from my own little corner of the world made me see alot of what I don't like about myself - stuff I want to work on, or wish I could change. Coming home and sticking to it has been an uphill battle most of the way, but it's getting better.
I also realized things I like about myself... which sometimes also act as things I don't like at the very same time.
If this turns into a place where all I do is whinge about crap, it'll go away, I promise myself that.
Despite my usual adherance to the avoidance theory, I've always played it fairy dinkum... Fairy dinkum I plan to remain. Hopefully when I write it's going to be to work things out, find what lies beneath, or try to comprehend something I just don't get...
And hopefully it'll last...
Admitting things to myself is usually fairly easy.
Actually then keeping that in mind or taking note of it is the hard part.
I don't think a day has gone by since I've been home where I haven't thought about either Australia or New Zealand...
And it usually hurts.
I've tucked away photographs purposely, avoid any real conversation topics beyond fun quirk differences or the wonders of Nutella. And I don't wanna do that anymore.
I want to be proud of the postcard collection, and hunt down posters of the landscapes I adore.
Because I've come to realize one key thing.
I'm going to go back.
Probably not for a few years at least... I doubt I'll ever live there again...
Let's put it this way - some families save up to do Disney World trips and try to do it once a year.
Who knows...maybe I'll be able to afford it in that sense one day.
But I'll get back.
Heck, just typing that out feels good.
I will see you again.
:::jumps off soap box:::
No need for hooroo...
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