With that in mind, I've been thinking about things I'd like to try and accomplish this summer.
Especially after last summer, I feel like it's really my perfect time to get things done. Something in the season really motivates me - so I've been mulling over my lucky seven things I feel could really be good moves for me.
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1. Streamline My Room
Whether its clothes, shoes, bags, books, stuffed animals, makeup or random junk - I have a *lot* of stuff. Stuff I don't need. I know that I've tried to compress items into a much smaller space than I got used to during college, and that one day I will have the space I need - but even then, I don't want it filled with crap. It's time for me to really clear out my stuff. I've been doing it in bursts for the past months and its been good - now it's time to go gung-ho and really finish it. I want to throw out my bag of nail polish and replace it with 6 awesome colors - that sort of streamlining. I want to walk into my room for 2 weeks straight without it looking like shit. I've started trying to get rid of one item every day, whether its in the trash or good will. It's less abrupt that way really. But I'm so good at organizing other things, heck, even other people's bedrooms, so it's time I worked a little of that magic for myself.
2. Get to the Beach Eight Times
Why eight? Because I'm afraid I can't reach ten - I want attainable goals. Eight will probably be hard as it is. But after the great spur of the moment day trip this week, I know it's such a positive experience to really strive for this summer. I don't care if it's just for a few hours - or even if its later in the day. I want to get there - with all different people - for all different kinds of trips. I think it could be great. If I reach Six, within a reasonable amount of time, I might up the goal...
3. Get to the Poconos!
Summer just seems to prove impossible for Pocono trips these last few years, and I don't know why. I've been up there in the 'summer' twice in the past four years - and that's just stupid.
I have a freaking HOUSE in the MOUNTAINS by a LAKE with a GOLF CART to ride around on stealing lawn gnomes, where there's awesome OUTLET SHOPPING, PAINTBALLING, HIKING, HORSE-BACK RIDING, CAVES, FLEA MARKETS, and all sorts of silly day trip activities that a semi-yokel like me adores the living daylights out of.
We have a Zombie movie in the works. That's pretty ambitious as it is, but I want to get up there to just enjoy the slower pace every now and then. It's a wonderful kind of break from things.
4. Make major progress in my scrapbook.
I buy all the gear for it, and then have like, three pages done. I know the main reason why I don't want to do it. But I'm gong to have to suck it up and face the fact that I don't live in Australia anymore, and I *do* want to preserve all the awesome photos, and keepsakes I brought home with me in the gorgeous book I bought for *that* purpose. I have so much that laying out the things I want on each page is going to be crazy. I need to steal some of those clear slip covers for binders to stuff with things so I can see what's going on and go from there. It's a big project that I'm going to have to make time for - but it's been over two years now that I've been back - even if it doesn't feel that way. I need to do this for me.
5. Attitude Adjustment
Everyone knows that I think I'm crazy. Or rather, that I *know* I'm crazy. From what some people tell me, I might in fact be wrong. From what other people tell me - I might want to have a sit down talk with some sort of professional. Both camps have my best interest at heart and both have their 'evidence'. I know everyone's got something or other about them that's fucked up, no matter what they say. None of these people though, know exactly how I think - when A. happens - this is the first thing that pops in my mind. When B. goes off, my gut reaction is to insert reaction here. No one else knows that. Should someone? Is my unpredictability in that respect a good thing - or am I right in thinking that there could be something inherently fucked up in how things go off in this head of mine at times. It's to the point where I'm not sure if 'talking to a professional' might help if there's something wrong -- or my slight paranoia that they'll tell me something is wrong simply by the fact that I showed up and they want to keep me coming. There's a short list of 'things I think could be the problem'. Whether or not it's real doesn't matter -- certain people will be hearing about this over the summer. And something's going to give. One way or the other.
6. Lose 20 more pounds.
This could be the hardest. Only time will tell. After dropping 50 lbs it's really an uphill battle. But I'm so proud of myself that I've maintained where I am now, and have everything really ready now to hunker down and go the rest of the way. Even then, I might want to go further. You really can't understand what it feels like. Like a metamorphasis. Because people really do treat you differently. I *act* differently. In a way, its horrible to realize - but I'm ignoring that and concentrating on being the best me I can be. I'm doing it to be healthy. I'm doing it because I want to be able to hike for hours and then hike some more. I want to define myself, truly, by my actions. It's still hard to shake what many refer to as the 'fat girl attitude'. It's a defense mechanism. It's a desire to go unnoticed, to purposely avoid eye contact... all those fucked up habits need to go along with everything else.
I need to settle into a better gym routine, and see where I can kick things up a notch. I might try swimming. It's supposed to be great for you.
I'm working on finding a bike - so I'll be looking for anyone who wants to do that -- or to hike this summer. Anything outdoorsy really...
7. Take the plunge... again.
It's been over a year and a half. I *need* to go skydiving. Anyone who wants to go again, or for the first time, has nearly $200 to drop, and won't have me face a firing squad of angry parents for being the antichrist (sorry, Doug-though if you can swing it, please come!) by all means, join me. I got five to go last time. I'm good at this game. I've been scouting out locations. I'd love to go by the shore.
That's the most essential 'adventure' of the summer - but I want others. Gene and I have discussed a paintball outing that absolutely has to happen. I've never been, and that's stupid! Horseback riding is another one. So yeah... bring it!
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My birthday is next week... I'll be turning 23. I'm thinking "Boat, Beer & Bonfire," will be the means of celebrating that friday. And as of my birthday, I'll say my summer begins. I don't really have any other marker, so that works just as well for me. I kind of can't wait...
6 comments:
As a friend, I can totally help you achieve a few of these goals:
-Let's go to the beach. Let's go to the beach. Did I mention I want to go to the beach?
-I also think relaxing trips to the Poconos would be nice. The movie is going to be hectic, so a relaxing trip is necessary.
Comment #2:
I don't think you're crazy. No, I don't know how your head works, but I think everyone thinks they are alone with their thoughts and their thoughts must be crazy somehow. Usually these people are perfectly normal.
Talking to someone might help - but you might not like what they say. They WILL find something wrong - everyone has something wrong. And if you feel the need to see a someone, you are saying yourself that you at least think something is wrong - or there is something you want to fix. And they will try and find that and fix it.
They may also tell you what you already know - which is possibly more frustrating than being told what you don't want to hear. I saw a counselor at Nova briefly when I decided I hated it there - and thought perhaps it was me. She told me, essentially: "You don't want to grow up. You miss college. You don't like the people here." Cricket...cricket... I wonder how many degrees you need to figure out a mystery like that! Sigh.
I'd say see someone, but don't freak out if you don't like them. In fact, if you don't like them, see someone else. Work out your thoughts. You'll feel better.
The perks of talking to a professional are: they don't already know you, won't base what you say on former experiences, won't make excuses for you, can really truly be objective (no friends can do that).
However, Dr. Phil on TV is FREE and I find him AMAZING!!
I'll be judged for openly loving Dr. Phil, that's fine. The man is a genius! 5pm weekdays ABC :)
I would go to the beach/skydiving with you this summer if I could.
You should add to your future to-do list - visit rhode island!!
If you want to go beachbumming, rhode island IS the ocean state, after all.
Have you met the people we hang out with? WE'RE ALL NUTS! Amongst us, you're the less crazy of the bunch. Trust me. That being said, talking to someone is nice, especially an impartial counselor or professional.
Beach? I want to go to the beach.
I have a shore house. Need I say more?
BEACH!!!!!!
Need to go so bad! I'm so there!
And you already have my vote for skydiving ;-)
<3
Babiest
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